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LESSON 16: FILIPINO VIEWS ON DEATH

(1)The culture of Filipinos has a diverse cultural background. This can be seen through the diversity of its culture and traditions. A good example of this diversity is seen through the traditions that surround death and dying. Filipino traditions that surround death and dying are a blend of indigenous, Spanish, and American influence that makes Filipino traditions unique.

 

(2)In order to discuss the cultural diversity of the Philippines, the nation’s history must first be discussed to establish cultural context. The Philippines before was very animistic in its beliefs and practices before the Spaniard came in the year 1521. The whole country had been a colony of Spain for over three hundred years until it was gained as a U.S. territory following the Spanish-American war in 1898. In result, Filipinos were considered as U.S. Nationals, which allowed for immigration to the United States. These historical contexts face Filipinos with three different cultures; indigenous, Spanish, and American which all contribute to Filipinos’ culture and traditions.

 

(3)The Filipinos have many indigenous traditions that regard death and dying. One of these traditions is called an “atang” An atang is a feast prepared by the bereaved family. The feast is made up of the favorite food of the deceased person and a seat at the dinner table is left open in memory of that person. Another indigenous tradition is to bury the deceased with his or her personal belongings such as glasses, watch, and toiletries so the person’s soul would have no reason to come back from the dead to retrieve them. Also, another native custom would be to keep the deceased person’s body in the family’s home during the grieving process. These traditions may be considered to be indigenous to the Filipino people because they occurred prior to Spanish colonization.

 

(4)Since the Spanish had been a colonial power in the Philippines for over 330 years they had a major influence on Filipino traditions. The primary influence may be the Catholic religion. We can also argue that aspects of the Catholicism are combined with these indigenous traditions to make up the modern traditions that we see in the Philippines today. For example, the bereaving and grieving process starts with a novena. A novena is a Catholic prayer session that consists of the reciting of original prayers and the using of rosary prayer beads. This prayer session usually lasts for nine days and the “atang” feast is held on this ninth day. Also, the Catholic novena prayers are performed in the home in front of the deceased person’s body, contrasting a funeral home or Catholic church. This may show that Filipinos combined the in-home grieving process and atang feast with the Catholic custom of novena prayers. These examples show how Catholic and indigenous traditions are blended together to make the unique bereavement traditions that we see today.

 

(5)Further influences on Filipino views on death and dying come from American exposure.   When the Filipinos moved to the United States, some viewpoints on death and dying began to change even more. For example, the novena prayers that were traditionally held in the deceased person’s house had to be moved to funeral homes because U.S. laws prohibit keeping dead bodies in the home for the nine-day service. Further, before American exposure, organ donation after death was not accepted among Filipinos. However, organ donation is more accepted among U.S. born Filipinos. What we can see here is not so much of a blending of viewpoints that we saw with Spanish, rather, a more direct influence from American culture.

 

Modern Filipino traditions on death and dying combines cultural aspects from many different influences. Rather than rejecting a foreign influence, the customs are incorporated and shared. With the permissive society like the Philippines, some traditions from the neighboring countries, particularly China, made also an influencial impact into the concepts on death and dying in the whole country. This is manifested during the remembrance of the dead love ones during all saints day and all souls day every November 1 and 2.  We can say that this is an example of an adaptive mindset that the Filipinos have developed after being repeatedly exposed to foreign influences. Although many of these practices come from different influences, we can say that Filipinos over time had adopted them as their own bringing a unique face to the Filipino culture.

 

 

UNDERSTANDING YOU GRIEF

( Article from New-leaf resources.com)

 

The death of a loved one, friend or family member often puts people in touch with their own thoughts and feelings about mortality. All of a sudden you realize how quickly life can end. It is normal to feel out-of-control, and overwhelmed. Realize that you are grieving.

The first step toward regaining a sense of control is to understand grief. Grief is a physical, social, emotional, psychological and spiritual reaction to loss. It is natural, normal and necessary. It may cause a variety of reactions, including:

  • Feeling tired and irritable. You may experience insomnia or feel tired all the time.
  • Appetite changes. You may or may not feel hungry.
  • Feelings of anxiousness. You may feel worried and excited at the same time, like your heart is racing and you cannot “catch your breath.”
  • Feelings of emptiness. You may feel hollow inside. It may be hard to concentrate or remember things.
  • Feeling out-of-control. You may feel helpless, angry or frightened.

 

All of these feelings are normal. Your whole world has changed. You cannot bring the person back or change the situation. It is natural to feel vulnerable. Through information, people gain a sense of understanding. Through understanding, you gain a sense of control. Seek out information about grief.

Everyone grieves differently. Cultural and religious experiences, the circumstances of the death and your relationship with the person who died influences your reactions to grief. If someone dies after a long illness, there may be a momentary sense of relief that the pain is over. If a death is sudden and unexpected, shock and a feeling of numbness may occur. If a young person dies there is a sense that things are out of order and that life is not the way it is supposed to be.

What you can do:

 

Acknowledge and express your feelings

Grief can be confusing. Sadness, anger, fear and guilt are some of the most common emotions. You may feel nothing at all or feel them all at the same time. Do not be afraid of the intensity of your emotions. Mood swings are normal.

Guilt can be one of the hardest emotions to deal with and it may last a long time. Self blame and doubt add to the pain of grief. This can make it difficult to share with others. Talking about your feelings or keeping a journal often helps you gain perspective and insight. There are no right or wrong feelings in grief, there are just your feelings.

 

Take Care of Yourself

Have compassion and take care of yourself. Eat properly. Get enough rest. Exercise. Grief causes tremendous stress on your body. It affects even the strongest immune system. You may catch more colds, experience headaches or muscle aches. Taking care of yourself is more important now than ever before. You might try some deep breathing exercises or relaxation techniques. You can find relaxation tapes at a library or book store.

 

Take Control

It is important at this time to do things that can give you back some sense of control. You will be faced with making many decisions regarding your future, both personal and financial. Take time making major decisions. Begin slowly. Handle small projects in small increments of time. This will help build your confidence and prove that you are making progress. Put the clothes away when you are ready. Do not let others push you to make decisions you are uncomfortable making. As you are getting your finances in order, get your other affairs in order too. Change insurance beneficiaries. Check you health and other insurance policies. Discuss you own funeral arrangements with your family and funeral director. Taking care of life’s “paperwork” can help restore a sense of control and give you peace of mind.

 

Be Patient With Yourself

Grieving takes time. It takes far longer than anyone expects, particularly you. You really don’t ever get “over it” but you can get “through it”. This loss is a part of your life. Be assured, you will not always feel as you do right now. Listen to yourself and go forward at your own pace. Don’t be surprised when grief shows up again. Just when you think you might be doing better, you may find yourself crying in the grocery or when you hear a song on the radio. Anger and guilt can strike anywhere at anytime. Forgive yourself for living when your loved one did not.

 

Find Yourself

Grief has changed your life completely. You cannot go back to being who you were. You can learn to live with who you are now. Most bereaved experience a change of perspective and discover that their priorities change. Now is a time to take a personal inventory and reassess your beliefs and values. You may find great comfort in your faith community as you look for meaning. You will discover new strengths and talents. Trust your heart.

 

Create New Routines and Rituals

Develop new routines and patterns as you search for the new you. Acknowledge the empty chair and move it. Rearrange your furniture and create a space just for you. Exercise at a specific time each day. Journal and make an entry daily. Daily patterns will help you develop your new identity and find a new normal.

 

Find ways to remember the life of your loved one daily. You do not have to say goodbye. It is important to acknowledge the change in your relationship. You do not stop loving someone just because they have died. You can still maintain a relationship in your heart. They are a part of who you are and who you are becoming.

 

Reach Out To Others

Reach out to others. Learn to ask for what you need. Your family and friends want to help, so let them know how. Turn to people you can trust for support and for information. Find people who will listen when you want to talk. Leave the scrapbook or photo album out on the coffee table so others can remember and share memories with you. You may want to talk to others who are grieving, consider joining a support group. Most groups are listed by subject in the phone directory or through churches, newspapers, hospitals, local health and social service agencies, the Chamber of Commerce or your local funeral home. You can learn and grow through common, yet different experiences. You do not have to travel this journey alone. Life can have meaning again.